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Joke of the Day
"Enter promo code INTERMINABLE SINCERITY for some free sarcasm."
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"I asked my boss for a raise and full-benefits package. But before I knew it, she was going down on me."
"POLLY GETS A CRACKER WHEN HE STOPS REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, and not a moment before. Stupid bird."
"Two bats are hanging on the branch... -What was your worst day? -When I had diarrhea."
"What is a stealth bombers favorite banana from Bananas in Pajamas? B2"
"What CS:GO hack do tumblr girls use? Trigger bot."
"At midnight in the graveyard You can come across a grave with the name Billy McCrackin. If you go to the grave just after midnight and say ""Billy, What are you doing?"" He will say Nuthin'"
"It's fun to watch babies taste new things like ice cream, lemons, or 9-volt batteries."
"What does the nationalist sing at Christmas? Jingo Bells."
"[first date] Me: *sees he owns a cat* Him: Are you a cat or a dog person? Me: *maintains eye contact* *pushes cat off the table* *leaves*"