19759

Joke of the Day

"What does the nationalist sing at Christmas? Jingo Bells."

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday? Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years."

"Want to know why I look terrible? Well, half of it is my mother's fault."

"What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered."

"How do you keep a redditor in suspense? [removed]"

"Yo Mama so poor... ...that when she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken she licks other people's fingers."

"Curiosity got sent to mars as punishment. As punishment for killing Schrodinger's cat."

"So I hear Reddit likes cats. Anyone ever hear the joke about the cat on the roof? Ehhh never mind. It's over your head."

"Religion: because reading one book is a lot easier than a whole bunch of hard ones."

"Mother: My goodness, Jerry, who gave you that black eye? Jerry: No one gave it to me. I had to fight for it!"