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Joke of the Day

"What CS:GO hack do tumblr girls use? Trigger bot."

"So you know the show Say Yes To The Dress There should be a show about women deciding whether or not to get an abortion called ""Say Maybe To The Baby"""

"I'm not an alcoholic, an alcoholic NEEDS a drink... I already have one"

"I've banged a lot of hoes and I'm planning on retiring. I heard the retirement homes have good pussy."

"My cum smells like bleach Too bad it didn't kill my ex."

"Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath."

"My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta.... I'm doing well, but I do get cannellonli."

"why do they call them light bulbs? they don't weigh very much"

"Why do skunks celebrate valentines day? Because they are very scentimental."

"Why Bell laboratories has so many Nobel Laureates? Because the **Nobel** awarding committee cannot say **No** to **Bel** labs."