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Joke of the Day

"A Pentium processor engineer is counting visitors to a bar He's counted 12.000000000057249999 patrons so far."

"I won the lottery for a million dollars today."

"I lose a lot of arguments just so I can go back to my nap."

"The Egg Race Who came in first? The over easy egg because it was really runny. How about second? The over medium egg because it was only a little runny. And last? That would be the baked egg."

"18 holes What do you call the area between a womans vagina and butt hole? *The driving range, because that's where I hit my balls!*"

"What do men and tile floors have in common? ...if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."

"I was so ugly when I was born... ...the doctor slapped my mother."

"My friend and I were talking yesterday and he asked me if I sometimes randomly recited the English vowels. I replied, ""Sometimes, why?""."

"It still really upsets me that my dog stopped talking to me around the same time I gave up taking hallucinogenic drugs."

"Three variations of ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" http://puu.sh/aTYoy/2e4a5f69b8.png"