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Joke of the Day

"*puts ranch dressing on chicken* aww look at his little cowboy hat and boots, how cute is that"

"Why can't you hear Django coming? The D is silent."

"Bill Clinton rapes a woman... Hillary Clinton then says to him... ""Bill did you rape another woman?"" Get it? Bill Clinton rapes women...."

"How do you know whether or not a redditor is Australian? They'll tell you."

"I must remember...no matter how well hidden I might be in my cardoard box fort, my boss can still track me down by the giggling."

"If I get nervous for a date, I just imagine the guy in his underpants, sitting on my couch for the next 40 years, & suddenly I'm annoyed"

"You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."

"*kneels to pray* ""Hello, God?"" ""YOU'VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT."" ""Who is this?"" ""MY NAME IS BRAD."" ""Are you in Heaven, Brad?"" ""NO, INDIA."""

"""That's a wrap, everybody."" ~movie director identifying delicious food"

"A line to use on Polish people You must be a magnetic Pole because I'm attracted to you."