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Joke of the Day

"My favourite porn category is the one where girls quote 19th century Irish writers Girls Gone Wilde."

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"I'm still waiting for the day my patents will say: ""It's all fake son, we're millionaires, this was just to teach you how to be humble."
"There's a girl on my art course who never does any original work, she copies everything. We call her Tracey."
"Confucius say..... Confucius say man drunk in cemetery make grave mistakes"
"Why do Lannisters hate turtles? Cause they can't stab them in the back"
"Why do women make such great plumbers? They like to bring up shit from the past."
"How many Firefly fans does it take to change a light bulb? They wouldn't. They'd rather spend a decade bitching about how it went out."
"everybody gets their 15 minutes of fame - so here's my first original joke! why is it impossible to surprise a snowman? .. he has ice in the back of his head"
"""GRAAAAAAIIIINNNNS"" Vegetarian Zombie"
"(Ad for a baby) gently used can't even kill you doesn't shed poops on a learning curve goes from 0-60 in roughly 60 years"