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Joke of the Day

"Why do the nurses give the old men in retirement homes Viagra? To keep them from rolling out of bed"

"What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade your cock up a girls ass"

"I just hired a new employee and he claimed it has been months since his last bowel movement. Needless to say one way or another, he's full of shit."

"Lew Schneider on Sunblock We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It's SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out."

"Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown? A: The punch lines were too long in Jonestown."

"I'm far less concerned with who let it out, and more curious as to why the cat was in the bag in the first place?"

"What kind of olives do I like? Olive them"

"Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

"I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night... I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night and there was a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt."

"Why did Cyclops close his school? He only had one pupil."