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Joke of the Day
"What kind of olives do I like? Olive them"
Next Joke
"Neuroscientists have discovered a commonly-consumed food which nearly eliminates the female sex drive. Wedding cake."
"I had a track accident last spring... Now it has become a running joke."
"Keep your friends close and your enemies in urns."
"I told my friends I found my Lasik surgeon on Yelp and they were horrified. Or interested, I'm not sure, I can't make out faces so well."
"Why was the little boy crying at the diamond store? He went to Jared"
"90% of parenting older kids is making sure they're not in the same room when they have to do homework."
"Yea, let's do that Old bull and young bull are enjoying a snack atop of hill one morning, and the young bull shouts 'let's run down there and fuck all these heifers!' Old bull replies ' let's walk'"
"My dick was in the Guinness Book of Records! ...but then I got kicked out of the library."
"I just got back from a once in a lifetime trip.... ....I'll tell you what, never again"