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Joke of the Day

"The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I'm done picking my nose, I'm gonna smile and wave."

"It's possible to suck at everything if you put your mouth to it."

"What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ? Mice cubes !"

"My nan used to always tell me ""only boring people get bored"" I prefer to call it 'entertainmentally challenged'..."

"What is the motto for the Epilepsy Research Society? Sieze the day"

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

"What's the worst thing about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done."

"My daughter has reached that age where she's asking embarrassing questions about sex Just this morning she said, ""Daddy, is that the best that you can do?"""

"23% of traffic accidents involve cell phone use, but 77% do NOT involve cell phone use. Statistics don't lie. It's safer to use your phone."

"Melon love Two melons in a romantic relationship were discussing their feelings for each other. ""Honeydew you love me?"" asked the first. ""Yes,"" replied the second, ""but we cantaloupe."""