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Joke of the Day

"Hitler on mining ""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" [Hitler rubs chin] ""So mine less"" [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] ""MINE FEWER!"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes?"""

"""Truth or dare"" ""Truth"" ""What's your credit card number"""

"What do you call a wino eating grapes? Impatient."

"Break-up if you can't be faithful. Stay faithful or stay single."

"Turtle to turtle: ""Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"""

"Q.Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory? A. She kept throwing out all the W's."

"Physics! What hurts really bad? Frequency!"

"My friend Sid was a victim of ID theft. Now he is known as S."

"I slept with a girl the other day, she called me daddy. I guess I have a Freudian prick"

"Coconut water: for people who love the taste of piss but don't wanna deal with the social stigma of drinking it."