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Joke of the Day

"I slept with a girl the other day, she called me daddy. I guess I have a Freudian prick"

"[sees a zebra for the first time] What's up with that horse? [sees a giraffe for the first time] Okay, what the hell is going on today?"

"The arrogant baker declared 'You'll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window' The customer agreed 'It must be the double glazing'"

"(fully aware that i am always more tired after a nap than i was before) this time will be different"

"Donald Trump has done so much good for American education. Now instead of citing my sources on an English paper, I can just write down, ""I know it, you know it, everybody knows it."""

"How fast can a bear run? As fast as it can bear."

"A Muslim, a communist and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""Hello Mr. President!"""

"Hope you all aren't too good for knock knock jokes Knock knock. ""who's there?"" 9/11 ""9/11 who?"" Wow.. And you said you would never forget."

"My wife and I moved to a new house. It's the only place I've lived where I can tolerate the neighbours. It's next to a cemetery."

"What's the Cuban national anthem? Row, row, row your boat"