25431

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a wino eating grapes? Impatient."

"I put the ""arse"" in ""arsenic"". I also put the ""arsenic"" in your ""morning coffee"". Revenge is best served with a donut."

"A teenage boy decides to stop masturbating."

"Why can't you have sex after playing Assassin's Creed? Because Ubisoft"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck? People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill."

"My dad hasn't uncrossed his arms since I was born."

"I accidentally got my mom prego... :( She wanted Ragu."

"What did the apple tell the annoying orange? Citrus down."

"Well well well, if isn't the girl who gave me cooties in third grade..."

"I hate when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache...and then she won't talk to you anymore."