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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan? Caesar: ""I came, I saw, I conquered."" Khan: ""I conquered, I saw, I came."""

"""It's the little things in life that make you laugh,"" my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets fighting at Walmart."

"Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll have to fix the washing machine yourself with YouTube videos"

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"Have you ever seen moth balls? Yeah? Well, how did you get their tiny legs apart?"

"I wanted to post a joke about tofu but it's tasteless."

"What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical? plague-arism"

"Opposites don't always attract. I've met several sane and normal people and found nothing about them appealing."

"Don't have phone sex Because you'll get hearing aids"

"How do you know if someone is a vegan? Because everyone around them will be giving them shit for it."