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Joke of the Day
"What do orphans get at Christmas? Lonely."
Next Joke
"*at movie theater* M: I'll take a large popcorn with extra butter. H: Sure. What movie are you seeing? M: I'm not."
"Did you hear about that new movie ""Constipation?!"" It still hasn't come out!"
"I wonder how many calories women burn by... ... jumping to conclusions."
"I was watching the WWE wrestling with my son today... ...when I finally snapped at the whole charade and blatant fakeness of it all. It's about time he was told he's adopted."
"ME: Is it true you can smell diseases? MY DOG: Yes ME: Well do I have any? MY DOG: Yes, you're insane ME: Wow you can smell that? MY DOG: No"
"Married sex is a lot like Prison sex... The sex you're wanting, you're not getting. And the sex you're getting, you're not wanting."
"Find someone who can make you happy, like a doctor or pharmacist....basically anyone who has access to mood-enhancing drugs."
"How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? Konnichihuahua"
"What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved? Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple...."