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Joke of the Day

"Got robbed. Someone broke into my house, stole my stuff, but then replaced everything with an exact replica. I pointed this out to my closest friend, and he went, ""Have we met?""."

"*i put two straws in my drink* gf: awhh :) me: hell ya double barrel *i use both straws*"

"What happened to Kim Jong? He was ill."

"I hate people who say ""Age is just a number"" Age is clearly a word."

"I always write ""boing"" in the memo section of my checks, so all parties involved know how this is gonna go."

"Why does Reddit hate Fencing? Ripostes"

"The Socratic method of deductive reasoning walks into a bar and the bartender says ""So. What don't you want?"""

"They Say 1 out of 3 People Cheat in a Relationship Not sure if it's my wife, or my girlfriend."

"If there's one thing I really can't stand when I'm drunk, it's up."

"The other day, my friend said that he thinks that I might have Asperger's Syndrome. I couldn't tell if he was joking, or being serious, or happy, or sad, or angry, or frightened, or..."