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Joke of the Day

"Today is the anniversary of the discovery of Uranus! Hershel was actually looking for the clitoris but found Uranus instead."

"""I hate drama"" said the woman who continued to place herself squarely in the center of it."

"Did you know that a chicken coop can't have more than 3 doors? If it has 4 doors, it's a sedan."

"I just slipped on a banana skin. I look ridiculous in it."

"Who's coca colas favourite rapper? 2-pop"

"I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers"

"Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: You're on your own, Idiot."

"All my exes are engaged, married, and/or have kids. I'm single. As far as I'm concerned, I've won."

"What the NSA say to NASA? You're a day late and a dolla short!"

"Next time you're in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases."