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Joke of the Day

"What does my dad do when he's drunk and bored? Beats me"

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"What's the difference between Ozzy Osborne and Whitney Houston? One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard."
"Two fish are in a tank One of them says ""Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"""
"You don't sweat much for a fat chick."
"A car almost ran into me and I screamed ""WOAHHHHHH THERE BUCKAROO"" I could have died and those would have been my last words"
"GUY: I wish girls liked comics. GIRL: I love comics. GUY: Oh really? Then what's the Hulk's favorite flavor ice cream?"
"My friend cooled himself to absolute zero... he's 0K now."
"NEXT APOLOGY I'M WAITING FOR PAULA DEEN TO APOLOGIZE FOR HER FAMILY STARTING THE CIVIL WAR"
"Did you hear Viagra now comes in a nasal spray? It's for dickheads!"
"Why does Jesus always leave a door open for you? Because he was born in a barn."