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Joke of the Day

"A car almost ran into me and I screamed ""WOAHHHHHH THERE BUCKAROO"" I could have died and those would have been my last words"

"I scare off men like I'm some kind of evil clown hiding in their closet. ""I'm not a clown!"" I shouted as I sniffed his sweater vest."

"What do you call two crows? Attempted murder"

"Why are Dutch people so tall? The short ones drowned in the floods"

"My friend said trepanning is a bad idea... ...but it's okay, he's just close-minded."

"As Caesar dies on the Senate floor, 'With or Without You' starts to play. ""U2, Brutus?"" He sighs, coughing wearily as the world fades away."

"What do you call an Irishman that stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture"

"What do you call a pair of crows? An attempted murder."

"So I've been thinking the world's getting more pessimistic... What do you fucking retards think?"

"I used to have a bird called ""Stockholm syndrome"" who lived on my shoulder. I used to hate the bastard, but in the end, he grew on me."