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Joke of the Day

"Why isn't the Mexican olympic team any good? Anyone who can run jump or swim is already across the border."

"What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner? A drunk drives right through a stop sign, a stoner waits for it to turn green."

"So I was Complaining about 1st world problems the other day When I realized that my complaining is a first world problem"

"Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth? Because he had a javelin through his head."

"What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening? Have a nice bite!"

"What happens when you step on an oily asian? Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb ? 1 or 2 ? 1... or 2..."

"You know what they say: Finding the right analogy is has hard as hmm..."

"What do you get when you mix Nyquil and MiraLAX? Relaxatives."

"In Starbucks a woman went sh*t house rat crazy when she got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot she ordered. I'm fine now."