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Joke of the Day

"Mick Jagger: Hey Keith, come hold my new baby. Keith holding baby, whispers to it: I'm going to out live you too."

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. :^)"

"It sucks how pizza doesn't grow back."

"Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon."

"STOP RUNNING IN THE HOUSE! I said STOP RUNNING! STOP RUNN.. YOU BETTER RUN YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"Just heard that distinct ""baby fell out of the crib and into a pizza that was on the floor"" sound"

"What are a fedora tipper's three favorite pokemon? M'chop M'choke M'champ"

"A man gets a quote tattooed on his dick. He goes home to his wife who says, ""stop trying to put words in my mouth!"""

"What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common? the resistance of both drop when doped."

"I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me."