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Joke of the Day

"Mick Jagger: Hey Keith, come hold my new baby. Keith holding baby, whispers to it: I'm going to out live you too."

"What happens if you don't keep up payments to your exorcist? You get repossessed."

"Why is it bad for blind people to skydive? It scares the hell out of the dog"

"Pregnant Eskimo What did the eskimo say when her water broke? Oh no, my ice cracked!"

"[answers phone during job interview] What's the address here? The Pizza Hut guy can't find me."

"I heard someone talking about all the potential health benefits of doing yoga, but I think it's a bit of a stretch."

"I illegally download music, but only Metallica. They seem to be pretty cool about it."

"Call me faithless, but I just can't believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower."

"What do paper towels call their family? NapKIN"

"I'm emotionally unavailable but I make up for it by being completely unattractive."