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Joke of the Day

"Using my good looks and charm i will gain the trust of an orangutan to have it become my personal kush consultant & legal guardian."

"Mirror mirror on the wall. Forget the fairest. Who would you fuck?"

"*drives motorized scooter into meeting I'm late for, around the conference table, and out the door*"

"My neighborhood is so politically correct... ...they consider it a hate crime to misspell vinegar."

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today... Sounds fun. Dozen Tit?"

"The best stories ever told always end with the words""...and then I got the hell out of there."""

"How many passive aggressive people does it take to change a light bulb? Don't bother, I'll do it myself."

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped."

"a friend told me how electricity was measured and i was like watt"

"Lady: he's so mysterious Lady2: I wonder what he's thinking [Me, just wondering how easy it'd be to convert a nerf gun to fire meatballs]"