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Joke of the Day

"I never did think of myself as beautiful, terribly attractive, yes, but not beautiful."

"Snoop Dogg seems to be investing in a company that will deliver weed to your house in 10 minutes... Sadly, the name Instagram is taken."

"I bought my mom a fridge for her birthday present You should have seen her face light up when she opened it!"

"Joke What did the one Angel say to the other? ""Halo"""

"GF: I'm leaving with the kids if you don't stop pretending our house is a hospital ME: That'll be great, we really need the beds"

"What do you call a cow who is also a knight? Sir Loin."

"REALITY SHOW IDEA: Put 10 tweeters in a house with only 1 phone charger and plenty of booze. BOOM."

"You know what a Walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal"

"Never trust a sweet talker.. They probably just want you to undo the zip ties so they can escape."

"Why did the biology magazine put a picture of gametes on their cover? Because sex cells."