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Joke of the Day

"I bought my mom a fridge for her birthday present You should have seen her face light up when she opened it!"

"What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? [NSFW] Cuntswaylo"

"Do you think Michael J Fox....? Do you think Michael J Fox ever gets an answer out of an 8-Ball?"

"Robocop seems pretty cocky for a guy that can't swim."

"Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut the fuck up and dramatically lower your standards!"

"Giving blood is a great way to help society AND lose unsightly blood weight!"

"My bunny died. Now he's just some bunny that i used to know...."

"If we didn't have lawyers... We wouldn't need lawyers!"

"- What's your cell phone? - iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that."

"You know why when geese fly in a V, one side of the V is longer than the other? More geese on that side."