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Joke of the Day

"What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough? A thermomeater!"

"Some guy in a in a wheelchair stole my camo jacket He can hide but he can't run."

"I love people I can get weird with."

"What kind of name for a storm is ""Debby?"" Hurricanes should have names like ""Satan"" No one should have their house destroyed by ""Heather."""

"My wife doesn't believe that auto correct changed ""Yes dear"" to ""Hell no I'm not picking your mother up from the airport at 1am."""

"ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit."

"The church on Elm street is hosting a prayer meeting for people with low self esteem. Please use the back entrance."

"accidentally just walked halfway into a hug intended for someone else on the sidewalk maybe can't leave house ever again"

"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."

"What involves a man and two women, and doesn't even last a minute? A Ronda Rousey fight."