114784

Joke of the Day

"I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening... One of the perks of being self-employed."

"What's the worst thing you can hear after giving Willie Nelson a bj? I'm not Willie Nelson."

"Why are black people good at basketball? Because it's all about shooting and stealing."

"Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?"

"My daughter has recently become deathly afraid of our cat. So I'm going to have to get rid of her. At least I'll have my cat to comfort me."

"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."

"What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero? Are you 0K?"

"All out of clean spoons so I guess I'll just eat this fat free yogurt with my gun."

"I was tucking my son in last night, and he tells me that his teacher is ""an idiot"" and she's ""out to get him."" Which is just the last thing you want to hear when your kid's home schooled."

"When I was 9, I was touched by an Angel. Angel Martinez, currently serving 16 years."