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Joke of the Day

"When I was 9, I was touched by an Angel. Angel Martinez, currently serving 16 years."

"""Hey, long time. Wassup?"" should be auto-corrected to ""Dude. Can you do me a favor?"""

"My wife told me to stop singing Oasis And I said *maybe*...."

"Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off, so who was left?"

"The only way I'd be scared of a ghost is if one was coming at me wearing a fitted sheet that I thought I'd have to eventually fold."

"I don't understand all the excitement over Usain Bolt I finish in under ten seconds all the time."

"I have a bumper sticker in Braille If you can read this, you're driving too close."

"Life as a penis must be hard."

"Girls go to the bathroom together because that's where we rap battle"

"If 4/20 is national weed day whats 4/21? National surprise drug test day! Happy 4/20 everyone! :)"