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Joke of the Day
"I'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with me when I get Alzheimer's"
Next Joke
"Who is the smelliest hairiest monarch in the world? King Pong."
"Whenever someone says ""I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart"", all I hear is ""I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart""."
"For health reasons, my doctor says I should avoid trans fats I'm gonna miss tumblr"
"I was going to have sex with you, but you asked what Mario Kart was and wore pants inside the pillow fort....I'm just kidding. I don't care."
"I'm 39, If you invite me to a party that only starts after 10pm, I'm not even going to pretend I'll make it."
"My phone dies quicker than the black guy in a horror movie."
"['90s] Did you hear McDonalds just bought the naming rights to that new hockey stadium? They're calling it the Mac-Arena."
"What type of wife always knows where her husband is? A widow"
"If I had a parrot I'd teach it to say ""I know where they buried the bodies"""