132020
Joke of the Day
"If I had a parrot I'd teach it to say ""I know where they buried the bodies"""
Next Joke
"A woman just dropped a 10 note next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?', so I turned it into wine. I bought wine."
"You should really eat more turnips. They're really healthy Turnip, for what?"
"Did you watch the movie constipation? It never came out."
"Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck. Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs."
"What gets better with age? Necrophilia"
"What's the best gift you can buy at Christmas? A broken drum, you can't beat it."
"Why did the Wright brothers turn their aircraft 90 degrees west when their dad walked in the cockpit? because three Wrights make a left."
"Why do French tanks have review mirrors? Because they want to see the front line too"
"[on a date with a caribou as a favor to my sister] me: so...did you like the movie? caribou: *knocks over candy display & tramples 3 kids*"