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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when a dyslexic tries to make a gif? Peanut Butter."
Next Joke
"The light at the end of the tunnel are the front lights of a train."
"5 minutes into watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory and I'm craving chocolate This is why I can't watch breaking bad"
"A wife said to her husband, ""You fuck like you fix things around the house."" ""Expertly?"" he asked. ""No,"" she responded. ""Half done so I have to call the neighbor over to finish the job."""
"Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: I just wanted to see you. [4:07 am]"
"WAITER: Would you like the usual, Mr Smith? MR SMITH: *all smugly* Do birds fly? *Penguin at the next table slams down his menu*"
"What does the L in Samuel L Jackson stand for? Motherfucker"
"They call my dick 'the landmine'... because the second anyone touches it, it explodes :("
"Some girls on Facebook are cute until their 30-day photoshop trial expires."
"Women are like angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly....... on a broomstick, we're flexible like that"