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Joke of the Day

"I was walking down the street one day.. and I saw a man taking a gate. I was going to say something but I thought he might take offence."

"If a spider gets bitten by a radioactive teenager does it become super sulky?"

"What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky I'll show myself out."

"You should never tease a fat girl with a lisp. She's probably thick and tired of it."

"I learned that you transfer more germs shaking hands than kissing....It didn't take HR long to stop me from introducing myself to women..."

"ME: my ideal first date? well to me it dosent matter wat we do as long as we share a conection JOB INTERVIEWER: i meant how soon can u start"

"GEEK BOOTY CALL... ALLERGIES I'm allergic to three things: cheese, pollen and not being with you."

"New Horizons probe discovers trees on Pluto! Reporters asked ""how can you tell?"" And NASA said ""from the bark, you dummies!"""

"GEORGE WASHINGTON: We should put ""We Trust In God"" on our money THOMAS JEFFERSON: Great idea. Did you get that? YODA (taking notes): Yep"

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."