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Joke of the Day

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"My kids are teenagers, and I've found the same thing fixes their bad moods as when they were toddlers: a snack and a nap."

"Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs? Because they're good at picking their drivers."

"Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A. Donut seeds."

"Fine! I do actually believe in a higher being.. His name is Jonathan and he's about 5 inches higher than me. That bastard."

"Life just isn't fair sometimes. Woman can sell it but men can't even give it away."

"If at first you don't succeed, you're probably assembling furniture from IKEA."

"what is american soup made from? laughing stock"

"Why'd the toilet feel abused? Because it took a lot of shit."

"If I call you cupcake it's because I'm probably going to put my vanilla frosting on your forehead"