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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pig on a leash? Pulled Pork"

"Why did the chicken cross the road with a knife? Because it saw Lena Dunham on the other side."

"Nerdy financial humor. You have been warned. I started showing more interest in one of my investments. It appreciated it."

"Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks."

"Everyone wants a bigger house until you have to dust Now I'm dreaming of a one room shanty inside a bubble"

"Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun? Because they're not real."

"*go to shake hands with All-Knowing Oracle* *just stares at me* *realize he knows I didn't wash my hands after using the bathroom earlier*"

"In Europe they are now printing their money on Greece proof paper."

"I've started a charity for donating horchata-flavored espressos to deaf Americans in Thailand. It's called the ""ASL Rice Phuket Allonge"""

"Two hefty guys are drinking in the pub, one says ""Your round."""