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Joke of the Day

"I secretly like days when none of my facebook friends have birthdays."

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"Why did the chicken limp across the road? Because it was a lame joke."
"What do you call Virgin Mobile? A nun in a wheelchair"
"Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth."
"Tonight I'm going to party like it's 1999 Because back then the worst thing I had to worry about was just a computer glitch destroying civilization."
"According to WebMC, I be illin'."
"Why were the German tomatoes drunk? Because they'd been on the vine."
"So a blind man walks by a fish market... And when he walks by the market he takes a deep breathe and says... hello ladies!"
"I went up north to drill oil, didn't get payed Turns out, it was all rigged."
"Romantic cop: Here, I brought you a flower. Competitive about everything cop: Big deal. I brought you a flowest."