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Joke of the Day

"Remember the guy who played in the deer hunter, and pulp fiction? Christopher something or other... Anyway, I heard that he's opening a new hospital. They're calling it the Walken clinic."

"Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you... You have my word"

"There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends."

"Beauty and the Beast (1991): A woman develops Stockholm Syndrome, emotionally bonding with her captor at castle furnished with singing decor"

"How do you know which tree is the jew? It doesn't drop apples."

"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."

"I walked in on my Arab roommate He was having sex with his girlfriend from behind, while shaving with his left hand and all while having an argument. I said ""good thing you're not wearing ihram!"""

"What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble? A woe boat."

"INTERVIEWER: what's your greatest strength? ME: shape shifting INTERVIEWER: is that so? INTERVIEWER: yes INTERVIEWER: holy shit"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? THATS NOT FUNNY!"