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Joke of the Day
"Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you... You have my word"
Next Joke
"My local newspaper ran a story on the decrease of cow psychics. It was called ""Steak Medium Rare"""
"[flirting at Taco Bell] Trouble opening that sauce packet? Let me help. [seconds later] Let me help you get that sauce out of your hair."
"How to be a white girl: 1.) Get a frappuccino from Starbucks 2.) take a picture drinking it 3.) Instagram it 4.) hash tag 'summerrrrrrrrr'"
"What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant."
"Why can't Michael Jackson drive backwards in a car? Cause he's dead."
"Tell the dude at Starbucks your name is Poison Coffee, and when he calls your name, fall out of your chair onto the floor."
"How do you blend in at a bald convention? Chemo-flage"
"I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined."
"What's small and green and smells like pork? Kermit's Finger."