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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."

"My kid just locked me out of the house in 95 degree weather, but sure, ""it goes by so fast."""

"the early bird gets the worm but so does the bird that gets outta bed around 1pm because there are plenty of worms out there believe me"

"Why do people post missing person posts on Facebook? Like we're going outside..."

"Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?"

"in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone"

"I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery."

"I have a magic dog... It's a labracadabrador."

"100% of Guy Fieri fans drive drunk."

"There's been a rash of break ins recently involving teenage boys, so I switched out all the locks in my home with bra clasps."