114504

Joke of the Day

"What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection? ""Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"""

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? If it was invented anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush"

"Seriously how much of Krypton fell to earth and how do bad guys keep finding it? You're Superman, handle your shit. This ain't a game, dawg."

"in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times"

"I think I'm going to give away my old Dyson vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust."

"Each of my 4 children has made me a better parent. So I figure I only need 34 more kids to be a pretty decent guy."

"I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before!"

"I want to donate a large amount of money to a rape clinic I wont take no for an answer."

"I went to a zoo yesterday that just had one dog in it. It was a shih tzu."

"My son will never know the thrill of illegally downloading Thong Song on napster and waiting 1h39m for it to download"