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Joke of the Day

"Each of my 4 children has made me a better parent. So I figure I only need 34 more kids to be a pretty decent guy."

"What do you call a president crossing the road? A presidestrian"

"I just want to apologize to all the guys I dated BEFORE I started using Prozac. And to their wives. And their local fire departments."

"""That was supposed to be a compliment."" -Men"

"From what I hear about time spent with abortion doctor's they're really not all that bad Many patients have claimed it's really brought the kid out in them."

"How many months have 28 days? All of them"

"Constipated people just don't give a shit."

"I would vote for Trump if I could because I've never seen a president get assassinated"

"I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings"

"Lawyers Q:is it true you charge eache question 500 bucks? A:yes. what's the second question?"