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Joke of the Day

"Good news everyone. The cure for human stupidity has been invented in a convenient pill form. Unfortunately, Donald Trump refuses to take it."

"your mom is so stupid.... when I said it was chilly out she ran out the door with a spoon"

"Today is Compliment Someone Randomly Day. And may I just say that this paper bag would go beautifully with that outfit you're wearing."

"Mind Blown. Girls=Time and Money Because Time=Money Girls=Money (squared) Since Money is the root of all evil square root the squared Money Therefore Girls=Root of all evil"

"If you are having sex with two women and a third woman walks in, what do you have? Divorce proceedings, most likely"

"""I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? 'cause I smell carrots..."" ~ Snowmen."

"Have you heard the joke about a rice cake who raped a bunch of tofu? I thought it was pretty tasteless."

"Use condoms: because if she'd sleep with you, she'd sleep with anyone."

"Tomorrow I am going to open the time capsule I buried as a kid. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got"

"It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page."