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Joke of the Day
"read this now you reddit"
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"Why is it not safe to doze on trains? Because they run over sleepers."
"I went to a seafood disco last week I ended up pulling a mussel."
"I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard."
"When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shit."
"Why are midgets so skinny? Because they eat h*elf*ally"
"I used to work for a bank but then I lost interest."
"What does eating an old lady out taste like? Depends."
"My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn't find it so we're outside watching the house burn."
"Give a man a plane ticket... Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life. First post sorry if its a repost"