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Joke of the Day

"My wife hates it when I introduce her as my ex-girlfriend."

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you were the only car in the lot and I parked so close you couldn't open your door."

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Saturday, Sunday"

"Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt? Because it was Far Out!"

"Whenever my wife sing, i open up my room windows so the neighbors don't think I'm beating her."

"What's the worst part about necrophilia? When you get stiff before she does."

"We call her Skippy... because she's so easy to spread."

"An e-mail confirming you've unsubscribed from a mailing list is a fun way of saying you're not having the last word in THIS argument, pal."

"My local bar was having a fund raiser for dyslexia It was all you can drink for ages 12 and up"

"I dunno Discovery Channel, if you think crabs are the deadliest thing you can catch, you've obviously never slept with my sister Ashley."