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Joke of the Day

"Smoke marijuana... Smoke marijuana, Take over the government, This is a high coup."

"Wish I was rich enough to own a room full of bees & if someone upset me I could order my muscular butler to ""Take them to the Bee Room!"""

"Quite a few people aren't aware that I studied abroad for a year. Alas, she didn't teach me anything I didn't already know."

"My friend asked me how it felt to be able to say that i was married I said that ""It has a nice ring to it"""

"In case I ever doubted my status as an American, being able to buy girl scout cookies on my way out of the gym was a heady reminder."

"What do you call an albino gorilla? Honkey Kong"

"What's the difference between having a job and being a homeless drug addict? One takes over your life and turns you into brainless zombie and the other one makes you homeless."

"Hello jokesters! How about we show off our best 'I'm so poor that...' jokes. Fell free to put any joke that you feel is funny."

"Why you should wash your car? WASH YOUR CAR BECAUSE IT IS DIRTIER THAN MILEY CYRUS!"

"[customs] ""Passport?"" *I lift up my bag & a severed head falls out* ME: OH NO OH GOD *still rummaging through bag* ME: I've forgotten it"