200207

Joke of the Day

"Tell me again how I unloaded the dishwasher too loudly when you were watching golf. Detectives will want to know exactly how this went down."

"Most of my one night stands happened because they knew they would get a fabulous breakfast the next morning."

"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college? BYE-SON!"

"Sorry I ate your baby but you shouldn't have wrapped it like a burrito."

"A Russian asks another Russian if he's seen the new magic show in town. ""Cock ta-da?"" ""Yeah, horror show."""

"A midget Mexican is called a paragraph. Because he aint no full essay ;)"

"Which one of you eggs is my employer?"

"Here's a joke I made when I was a kid: What do you call an empty anthill? VacANT! . . . I'm sorry."

"Why is a bad government like a bikini? Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall."

"To all the girls who take pictures in the bathroom in public places, I'm taking a dump in the stall behind you....Don't forget to tag me"