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Joke of the Day

"if two tanker trucks collide at an intersection, one is carrying water, the other is carrying vinegar, what sound do they make? DOUCHE!!!!"

"Her: *smiles* You fill those out very nicely. Me: (looks at jeans)Thanks. Bank Teller: Sir, could you please pass back the forms? Me: Ohh!"

"I wonder if nails ever get tired of being hit on."

"Bought a cheap horse over the weekend. Problem is she sleeps all day. What a nightmare."

"Look at the name 'Morgan Freeman' and then TRY not to read things in Morgan Freeman's voice. See? You can't."

"my life is a joke with no punchline"

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party He was looking for a tight seal"

"I went into a medical shop. ""Have you got anything for irritation?"" ""Yes,"" he said, ""But where exactly?"" I said, ""Fuck knows, you tell me. It's your shop."""

"Why is 4840 square yards like a bad tooth ? Because it is an acre."

"Women can be sexist too It's just that men are better at it like everything else."