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Joke of the Day
"my life is a joke with no punchline"
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"What for you call a motivated mannequin? Mannecan"
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin: A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"How many rats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but you have to get them in the lightbulb first."
"Who makes more money, a hooker, or a drug dealer? The hooker, because she can wash her crack and sell it again"
"Who are the greatest philosophers today? The TSA. They are always asking people, ""Who are you?"", ""Where did you come from?"", ""Why are you here?"", and ""Where are you going?"""
"An egg and a chicken just finished having sex... The egg rolls over, lights a cigarette, and says ""well, I guess that settles that."""
"Goal weight: ""are you ok, you look sick"""
"What do gay alligators eat for breakfast? Cockadiles"
"Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed? So he wouldn't talk in his sleep"