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Joke of the Day

"Her: *smiles* You fill those out very nicely. Me: (looks at jeans)Thanks. Bank Teller: Sir, could you please pass back the forms? Me: Ohh!"

"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places... ...My doctor told me to stay away from those places."

"What do you call a movie without any Jews in it? Uncut"

"Nana said I took too much NyQuil so I laughed at her and then she turned back into a paper clip and jumped into my fave Law & Order episode."

"Are you dylsexic? Probably."

"Rob thank god you picked up! Hey remember when you said if I needed a place to crash I cou- hold on *to copilot* STOP CRYING, ROB WILL HELP"

"I had a very confusing time when I tried to buy a Wii in France."

"How do kids from chernobyl count to a 100? On their fingers"

"What type of condoms does Ronald McDonald use? McRibbed"

"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore. She's a head master."