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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma? When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head."

"Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast in infection? A Quarter Pounder with cheese! Yum Yum"

"I'm getting ready to go down to support the woman's march. Just waiting on my wife to pack me a sandwich."

"New rule: You're not allowed to be condescending unless you can spell it."

"My wife accused me of pedophilia... So I dropped her right back in her stroller, and walked out."

"What is the oldest joke we have on record? (X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/what_is_the_oldest_joke_we_have_on_record/"

"What did the Jewish lesbian say to her girlfriend before taking her virginity? L'hymen"

"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Get in the Batmobile Robin."""

"[requst] may someone help me with a joke include 'mi' word, I know you guys are awesome. Here is one pj example http://i.imgur.com/N0CXg6o.jpg It would almost same or better."