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Joke of the Day

"Babies make for the worst pets ever, I try to explain to all of the expectant mothers at the grocery store."

"How do you make a 4 year old girl cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."

"Why are black cats such good singers? They're very mewsical."

"At the next election I am going to vote for the NSA Because they listen to the voters even after the elections."

"My girlfriend asked me why I was sitting with the eggs... I couldn't find my whisk, and if you can't beat them, you might as well join them..."

"What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional. (My manager from Croatia told me this during a shift)"

"When is a Mexican not a Mexican? When he's an alien! I'll see myself out now"

"Never marry a tennis player Love means nothing to them"

"What was Hitler's favourite video game? Mein Kraft"

"Why couldn't the skeleton add 1 + 1? Because he doesn't have a brain"