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Joke of the Day

"Renewing your wedding vows is like agreeing on a double life sentence to prison."

"My boss told me to have a good day... So I went home."

"Why do Hipsters wear long pants in the summer They are doing it before it's cool"

"BLIND DATE TIP FOR WOMEN: Throw a fork into the wall behind ur date so he has to turn around, to make sure he doesn't have a hidden ponytail"

"Still suddenly panicking that you haven't done your homework on Sunday evenings, despite being in your thirties"

"One time my dad caught me smoking an e-cig so he took me out to the shed and made me smoke an entire VCR."

"If you've watched the scene in Platoon where he gets shot in the back 44 times. You've pretty much seen my reaction to a wedding invite."

"There are some benefits to having alzheimers For example, you get to meet new people constantly."

"Told my friends that I was qualified to give them Botox injections. I raised a few eyebrows."

"What's worse than a white guy walking into a church andshooting 9 black people? He let the others get away... I feel I'll be downvoted to hell for this..."