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Joke of the Day

"I shouldn't be entrusted with responsibility. I took my pet rock to the lake for an afternoon of swimming... He drowned. RIP Dwayne"

"Id like to thank the Walmart cashier for making me feel like big money. I guess you don't see many $20 bills, glad you made sure its legit."

"Susie has no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Susie"

"How does a mom in West Virginia know her daughter is on her period? Her son's dick taste weird"

"Co-worker felt bad about throwing away a donation request from the Alzheimer's Association. I told him not to worry, they won't remember who they sent those to anyway."

"[raises hand in English class] Why do we need to be learned English? ""Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"""

"Grammar: The difference between feeling you're nuts, and feeling your nuts."

"Rihanna's restraining order against Chris Brown says he cannot ""harass or annoy"" her. I want one of those against everyone ever."

"I'm never tired. They call me Ironman"

"How many ears does Mr. Spock have? Three; a left ear, a right ear and the final front ear."